In a few short hours from now, I’ll wake Grayson up and get him ready for his first day of “big” school. Until now, he’s only gone to half-day preschool. I don’t know what the transition will be like for him. I suspect not great.
Part of the problem is that Grayson has never slept through the night. How will he manage a full day of school when he wakes up every couple of hours? Another issue is food. He still won’t eat anything except dry, crunchy foods (so basically cereals). He drinks milk all day long. He’s going to get so hungry.
So now we have a tired and hungry boy with behavior problems.
And I’m SO afraid for him. I was never afraid like this with Brendan or Bailey. But in my heart I know that if there were an active shooter on Grayson’s campus, Grayson would not be able to hide. He just can’t be still or quiet. He’s autistic and that’s what it looks like for him: busy.
Maybe there will never be an active shooter at his school. But maybe there will. He’s already had his share of trauma. Dear God, please spare him from any more! My mother’s heart can’t take it.
I was fortunate to meet with his teacher and his other “helpers” — speech therapist, occupational therapist, teacher assistant, counselor, etc., last week. I just wanted a few minutes to tell them about Grayson….who he is, how he got here, how far he has come. In order to be the most effective with him, I felt like they needed to know.
Why does it seem like we just brought him home from Virginia last week??? I can honestly say I never expected to find myself in this position. I thought Bailey was it. Then here was this baby. The day they handed him to me I was so unprepared. At times it’s been terrifying. Other times it’s been hilarious. Tonight it’s heartbreaking.